Baby Bear is Jewish. With a speech impediment.

One word: AHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAH

Lightning Up Chanukah Before 16,000 Fans

TAMPA BAY, FL — Some 500 Jewish fans noshed on Glatt kosher hot dogs Thursday as Tampa Bay Lightning and the Colorado Avalanche played an intensely tight game. The Lightning team celebrated the return of their center, Jeff Halpern, who hasn’t played since reconstructive knee surgery in June. His debut, a couple of months into the season, was particularly apropos: Halpern is one of a handful of Jewish players in the NHL.

Eight Chabad centers in the Tampa Bay area sponsored the Jewish Heritage Night at the St. Pete’s Times Forum. Sporting commemorative “Light up Chanukah with the Lightning” t-shirts, fans partied at the pre-Chanukah bash and menorah lighting. Before the game began, three children from the Jewish community were honored to announce the game’s start with a call of “let’s play hockey!” Chanukah music, Jewish-themed video clips, and the participating Chabad’s names played on the Jumbotron throughout the evening.

“There can be no better way to celebrate the festival of lights, than with the entire community coming out in a display of Jewish pride to watch the Lightning,” declared Rabbi Yossie Dubrowski, director of Chabad of Tampa Bay.

“The fact that Halpern made his season debut on Jewish Heritage Night and scored the Lightning’s only goal is real divine providence. I have no doubt that it was due to the energy of the 500 Jewish fans that were cheering him from the stands,” said Rabbi Levi Hodakov, program director at Chabad of Pinellas County.

The ice was cold and the game hard, but for the greater Jewish community it was a warm night around the rink.

The following appears in the November game programs, and it's funny how everyone seems to be on the same page--the same thoughts forming after the exact same incidents. If I had to write about Morrow, I'd write this... er, sans Cowboys references. That moment versus Burrows was when everything clicked, and I no longer doubted DA's decision to make Morrow captain. And last year's playoffs made everyone take notice.

( Morrow May Be Perfect Captain )

I rewatched Game 6 last night, which was a mistake because I started crying.

Also, how did Morrow's surgery go?

I'm not sure I've ever been embarrassed to be a Dallas Stars fan, but this is pushing me to the breaking point. I am so disappointed by the ridiculous shit that is being said. Whoever is fucking talking to the media needs to shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

I talked a lot of shit about Guerin and his stupid "in house" crap, but it's the truth. This is an in-house matter and needs to be treated as such. If you are going to talk to the media, do it B!Richie style. Ha, never thought you'd hear me say that. It's fairly obvious that B!Richie doesn't like Avery, but at least he backs him the fuck up. You don't have to back up what Avery says, you don't have to support it, you can be disgusted/embarrassed by his antics, but you don't throw him under the bus. Even if you want to. You talk about class, you talk about what it means to be a Dallas Star, to be a part of the Dallas organization, then you fucking DO it. If you talk crap about Sean Avery, you are just as bad as Sean Avery. I don't care if you personally dislike him or his style of play. He is your god damn teammate and that means something. You don't bash him to the outside world. Cut his fucking balls off in the locker room--don't go talking to TSN.

Hicks' comments--fine. Tipp's comments--fine. I kinda want to bitch slap Turco. He's always loved to hear himself talk, but right now he needs to concentrate on the game. Don't just say you need to concentrate. Do something about it.

And Hull. I love Brett Hull. He is one of my favorite players and one of the few players that I would actually want to meet and thank for playing hockey. But the shit he's pulling now? I have never been more shocked. First off--this is not Brett Hull. This is some dude who is trying to cover his own ass and scapegoat a bad signing, a bad season on one player.

Sean Avery is not the reason the Stars are losing. Sean Avery is not the reason the Stars aren't getting the benefit of the doubt from the referees (I love you Mo, but the Stars have been seen as whiners for a while now, especially this season with Morrow jawing endlessly and adding to the peanut gallery of whiners. You wanna talk about when we had respect from the refs--let's mosey on back to a time when we had Carbs and Nieuwy--when we had quiet confidence in ourselves and leaders that no one dared to disrespect). Sean Avery does not need "medical help." Are you fucking serious? I thought at first that was tongue in cheek, but now I'm really starting to think that Hull thinks Avery has some kind of mental problem because he has been consistently rewarded for playing a douche. I would have no problem acting like a douche for $4 mil/year. (Hully, how can you say that Avery is a good guy and then dump on him like that? Release a press statement or say something like Tipp did. And, yeah, maybe bland press releases aren't 'Hull' either, but this bullshit-trying-to-save-your-own-job doesn't seem like 'Hull' either)

Sean Avery was not a terrible signing. The money was fucking awful, but no one could have predicted it would have turned into this. So you take your losses, you leave the table. You keep your mouth shut and you learn. We've had plenty of players on this team (Young, Turgeon) who are good players, but not the right fit. Who people (fans) have dumped on. But I've never seen the team or the GM turn on them.

Thank god the team was sequestered in their hotel. Maybe they'll shut the fuck up. If one more TSN guy says that he's spoken to an "inside source" who says he never wants Avery back on the team, or feels like a weight has been lifted now that Avery is gone, I am going to scream. They won consecutive games for the first time since February and someone's acting like a primadonna bitch instead of recognizing we're battling it out for 15th tonight.

This should have been handled by the Dallas organization. And it should have been handled behind closed doors.

Also, Dion Phaneuf can die in a fire.

Drunk. Hehehehehe

When will Carbonneau be recognized by Hall of Fame committee?

Yes, bitches. When?

One of these days I might say something useful. I got nothing. I really would have liked to hear my captain on the radio, but instead I got this:

Avery: "I had a girl tell me I looked 34 and I'm only 28, but that could be related to non-hockey related activities."
Dan: "And you were asking her what her major was?"
Avery: "Umm, errr, ahhhhhh, ummm."

It was great to see him get flustered so easily. :)

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

OKAY, PEOPLE, IS THIS APRIL FOOLS? WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS THIS SHIT? OUTSIDE IT IS COLD AND CLOUDY AND MY FUCKING GOOGLE ALERTS JUST TOLD ME THAT JEFF HALPERN WAS TRADED TO NASHVILLE FOR A REJECT AND SOME CASH. CASH MONEY, LIKE A GOD DAMN HOOKER.

TSN HAS NOTHING. THE NEWS HAS NOTHING. BUT HALPERN'S NOT ON THE BOLT'S NEW LAME ASS INTRO ON THEIR SITE (ACTUALLY, IT'S PRETTY COOL BY MY STANDARDS).

IF YOU HAVE MY NUMBER AND THIS DEAL GOES DOWN, I NEED TO BE TEXTED IMMEDIATELY.

...

WAIT. THEN I MIGHT KILL MYSELF AT WORK.

WE NEED SOME PETER PAN, CLAP YOUR HANDS BULLSHIT TO GO DOWN. DON'T LET BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. HE ALREADY BLEW OUT HIS KNEE. NASHVILLE, FOLKS? THAT'S JUST CRUEL. FUCK YOU, CALGARY MESSAGE BOARDS.

I forgot how crazy today gets. Couple comments so far:

- *TSN is now reporting what The Fan 590 was reporting earlier: Olaf Kolzig? has signed with Tampa Bay. The deal is one year for $1.5 million plus bonuses.

That queen, Jeff Halpern, gets whatever the fuck he wants, apparently. I guess when you're the 2nd leading scorer on the team, you get to throw your weight around.

- *Darcy Tucker has signed with Colorado for two years at $2.25 million per year.

*barfs*

- Sportsnet is reporting that Radim Vrbata has bolted from Phoenix to Tampa Bay. Boy, those Bolts are busy. It's a three-year, $9 million deal.

BUSY? The TB Lightning are turning into a bunch of goons. First, Jeff Halpern Goalie Killer. Now, Vrbata Wrist Killer. Didn't they also show interest in Gary Roberts? Balls of steel?

- From TSN: The Edmonton Oilers have traded defenseman Joni Pitkanen, a restricted free agent, to the Carolina Hurricanes in exchange for forward Erik Cole.

*barfs* Why couldn't we get the guy that survived a broken neck?

WHAT. WHAT.

THIS WEEK POSSIBLY BEST WEEK EVER.

1ST - MAE
2ND - JEFF HALPERN NUPTIALS

AND NOW:

MIKE MODANO DRAFT DAY VIDEO

I've seen draft day video before, and I've even seen Mike Modano draft day video before, but nothing could have prepared me for that speech. You know.

ETA: I always knew Morrow was a fatty, but I never knew his nickname was CHUNKS. (Shoutout to Goonies? Or just a fatty mcfatterson jibe?) Canadian TV, I love how you play up Morrow's weight issues.

ETA II: AHHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA STEVE OTT + BRACES = BEST SPEECH EVER

Also, how did I not know he was some sort of Green Gables Bitch, too?

That meme that's going around is probably the best thing I've seen in ages, and I'm thankful everyone is doing it. If you haven't done it, you should do it!

OMG, I fucking lied, because the best thing I've seen in ages is my gmail inbox:

“I believe the voters of California are going to do the right thing this November, and events like this are really important to show everyone how we are really the same as everybody else, and we are just looking to spend our lives together,” said Jeff Halpern, half of the first couple to get married in San Francisco on Tuesday morning. - California gay couples rush to wed as vote looms

KNEE SURGERY, MY ASS. He won't be back until the new year because he's going on a honeymoon, decorating his house (oh god, remember the LOLs from the lockout when he did nothing but decorate his house and spent the entire time with his "interior designer" [okay, he also spent some time above a titty bar in Switzerland]), planning a wedding, and fighting for rights in CA this fall.

I KNEW IT.

Brenden Morrow: the next Selke and LADY BYNG winner? AHAHAAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

Well, he certainly is my kind of gentleman.

I missed the NHL awards (fucking east coast bias) so I expect updates, people!!! Tell me who rented really ugly tuxes and who bought nice suits to wear. My mom can always spot the losers because they wear the inexpensive ugly suits. My mom was seriously impressed by Cheech and Thornton's suits last year (SUIT UP!!!) and thought they looked very handsome. I always look forward to awkward red carpet talk and then something like Melanie Brodeur (is that her name? how could I have forgotten her name?) wearing a hot pink long dress. Classic.

I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE harleymae!!!! And I have to post it like that so you are all jealous. I know no shame.

Matti. :(